Holiday Sadness: What to Expect When You Aren't Expecting

One of the most painful experiences of one's life is the inability to conceive or stay pregnant. Our society is not sensitive to this stressful and devastating fact that one in six couples struggle with every day.




What to expect:

During the Holidays people love to tell stories about their children. What their children are doing in school, athletic achievements and funny anecdotal stories. This is so common because everyone can relate to being a child and most people either have children of their own or can't wait to start.



How to cope: Create a one liner you can repeat in your head "I will not be childless forever". "I am doing everything I can to get pregnant now". or "I will have stories like these to share one day too"

If it gets to be too much excuse yourself to the bathroom have a good cry and then go back to the party. Also, by adding acupuncture to current in-vitro fertilization procedures increases your success by over 55% as proven in multiple studies from 2002-2008 Infertility and Sterility Medical Journal



What to expect:

To be invited to every single possible baby shower that you could imagine. Maybe even your distant second cousin removed whom you have never met.



How to cope:

Don't go. It's that simple and don't send a gift. Do not torture yourself by shopping in the baby section wishing it were for you. People tend to invite anyone and everyone to their baby showers and you don't have to go- ever again. If it is a close friend confide and tell them why. If they don't understand or think you are being childish or selfish they aren't a compassionate friend so who needs them- not you!



What to expect:

Everyone will ask you "Do you have children?" or "When are you two going to have kids?" These seemingly benign questions penetrate deep into your most vulnerable wounds.



How to cope:

Answer quickly and succinctly finding what feels best to you: "We are trying right now so hopefully very soon!" "It's out of our hands but we are trying to make it fun" or "For some couples it's not as easy but we have the best experts helping us" or if you DON'T want them to know you are trying you can say "Some day soon"



What to expect:

There are always surprise pregnancies for those not trying and somehow they seek you out like a target missile to share their forbidden secret. They thought they were too old or they were too young or unfortunately too drunk.



How to cope:

Breathe in their baby energy and joy. It's sounds corny but just by faking yourself into a happier state of mind you will actually be a happier person. If that doesn't work seek out acupuncture treatments from an acupuncturist whose expertise is fertility go to: www.acufinder.com to find someone near you. Therapists too specialize in working with couples who are having a hard time getting pregnant and be very supportive during this difficult time.